Doors of Change
There’s a wise saying from Alexander Graham Bell:
“When one door closes another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
This was certainly true for my family and I when we decided to move from one side of the world to another. My father had spent most of his career traveling the globe and had a vision for our family to move to North America – the land of dreams.
When the decision was made there were mixed feelings inside our entire family. We knew that settling down in Canada would bring adventure, opportunity and a new way of life; but it was the old way of life we were clinging to. Mostly that of our support system, family and friends that stemmed from my parent’s childhood.
As we boarded our flight from South Africa to Canada on Christmas Day 1999 we realized there would not be a supportive community of friends and family awaiting our arrival. This realization brought many tears. Although I was just about to turn 14, even at that age there was a part of me that knew it was time to rise to the occasion and quickly get to work building our new community. Most would say I’ve always had an optimistic outlook on life and my positivity is contagious. Well, we certainly needed that optimism as we began our life in Canada, and I was hoping my positivity would be as contagious as ever.
Although I certainly felt sad and was grieving the loss of my life in South Africa just like my other family members, I was able to find perspective by focusing on the door that was opening instead of lamenting over the door that had closed. I knew a chapter of our life had ended, and all endings are filled with emotion and their ups and downs, but if I moved through that – had a cry when I needed to in order to release and honour whatever emotion wanted to rise up within me - I could then hit the perspective button and bring about the positive aspects of what this move would bring us all.
Once I had a grip on what I needed to move through this change, I felt it was my responsibility to be that force of positivity for my family too. To allow the door of change to, in their mind, evolve into a door of opportunity. Part of that was looking for the opportunities for all – new friendships, new way of life, new places and faces - and to some degree the new language. My sisters and I went to school together and became each other’s best friends before branching out to find new friendships. We planned a big family trip to Disney World which, back in South Africa, only seemed like a dream. The opportunities were great and I remained hopeful that we could all lean into that together without forgetting our roots we found our “new groove”.
Most of all, we did what made us happy. I focused on what I needed to flourish and each individual to a certain degree in the family did the same. For my mother it was of utmost importance to get back to South Africa for a visit every 2 years, and so that’s what we did. To visit family and be back in familiar surroundings filled out hearts. To be back in Canada doing renovations on our new home also made our hearts full. Honouring the grief and honouring what fills our hearts – both can be held and true at the same time.
Our move across the world was certainly an event my family will never forget. We all changed because of the move… for the better. We expanded out horizons while expanding our experiences and perspective. By answering my family’s call to help others move through tough times and navigate change and opportunity I found my life’s calling. Although I always wanted to be a teacher as a child, I didn’t realize what kind of teacher I was meant to be until I looked back on the experience I gained through our move to Canada. It was the door that opened leading me on my path as a wellness coach and educator. How magical life is!