The Afterglow

As a mom there’s nothing sweeter than those couple of hours you get at the end of the day with yourself and/or your partner after a busy day with the kids. Early mornings that bleed into a day of non stop changing diapers, getting snacks, cleaning spills, changing clothes, activity planning, the list goes on. 

So when bath time rolls around and it’s time to start winding down it’s no wonder, a little frayed at the edges, you breathe a sigh of relief that it’s almost bedtime. 

And then you catch yourself at bedtime once the oldest has closed her eyes and you are fully present in the silence, in this moment, maybe for the first time all day. With all the rushing around and getting things done and tending to small fires the idea of presence is fleeting. Until this moment. When her little hand grabs yours and snuggles it close to her chest. Eyes closed just like they looked when she was a wee baby held close to your chest in your arms those couple of years ago. And in this state of presence you catch yourself and then you have to catch your breath. Realizing that these years are slipping through your fingers faster than you’d like. And while some days seem endless and you wonder what it would be like to have yourself back, your time back, a chance to sink into relaxation, you realize...there’s nothing like these days you’re living right in this moment. And nothing will bring these days back once they’re gone. So the presence that you’re experiencing now is the sweetness that you’ll never forget as the time continues to pass and the little creature that lies so sweetly now right in front of your eyes gets bigger each year. 

And in the afterglow of a busy but miraculous day in the life of a mother, blessed enough to spend and entire day with her kids, you are here. With them. Taking it all in as they drift sweetly to sleep. Stroking their hair off their foreheads and holding tightly to that little hand that will one day not reach for your hand so freely for comfort. Praying that those days don’t come too quickly and that more moments of presence will make the fact that they will grow up (no matter how much you wish they’d stay small forever) a little more bearable. 

And in these moment I will hold on to the afterglow.